Who's fault ?

Who's fault?

 Helpless does not begin to describe how I feel with my nephew Justin.

     Yesterday he called me for the first time in weeks. When I don’t hear from Justin I know he is using heroin. He lost his job at the pizza place and was worried about getting Christmas for his daughter Rae Lynn. He stressed to me how his plans never seem to work out.

     I fought back tears listening to him, and like so many times before, I said, “Justin, you need to go back to rehab and after rehab you can come back home.”  He said, Aunt Chell I’m not worried about the withdrawals, it’s staying clean-long term.” 

     He doesn’t seem to understand that he will have to go to meetings all of his life to fight this demon. He did so well when he came out of rehab. He was strong; a little more educated and was not embarrassed about his disease. He knew what had to be done to stay clean.  I thought it was best if Justin went and lived with his dad because he would not be so close to the temptation that lived so close around me.

     After a few days out of rehab, he didn’t think he needed to go to any meetings. I told his dad, the meetings are the key to Justin staying clean. However, his dad is one of those uneducated people I mentioned in a previous post.   His dad agreed with Justin that he did not need meetings. He just needed to stay away from his mother, and low life’s (his words).  It took about a month or so before he started using again.  He now lives with his mother. 

     I heard his struggle when we were talking on the phone. His voice kept cracking fighting back the tears.  He said, “Aunt Chell, I need to come home, I will never get clean here.”  And once again, I told him he had to go back to rehab, and then he could come back home. 

     I’m struggling with what I told him. What if he does not make it to rehab, and dies? I know that is what I am supposed to do. (That’s what the professionals tell me anyway)  I am so mad at the world right now. Who do I blame? God, myself, his mother, his dad, his uncle, the government, the doctors, WHO?  I know one thing for sure; it’s not his fault, so somebody please tell me, whose fault is it?

Say a prayer for this family, Rest in Heaven Rickey. Rick Wiser age 34, his one and only heroin use lost his life on August 25, 2013.