If he could see what I see

“Only one percent of heroin addicts beat heroin addiction. What makes me so special to be that one percent?” Patrick said that not to long ago.

If he could see what I see he would understand what makes him so special.  Patrick is HILLARIOUS, and could be a comedian. There has been times he has had me laughing so hard my stomach hurts. ENERGENIC, He does not know what to do with that energy when he is not working. He is an extremely dedicated HARD WORKER, DEPENDABLE, and DILIGENT. He invested many weeks of his time working everyday not knowing when he would get a check and did this for two months. He showed up every day and worked very long hours.

If he could see what I see, he would see someone who is COURAGOUES, and a FIGHTER.  Yes, Patrick is extremely good at boxing, but I am talking about fighting to stay clean and the COURAGE that it takes to keep fighting this dreadful disease. Just last week, he relapsed for the 100^th time or so, and after what I seen this weekend with another heroin addict, it takes courage to go through those withdrawals and continue to fight. I was very proud that he took his little ass upstairs and laid in bed for days until he became clean again.  

What surprises me the most is I see someone who is NON-JUDEMENTAL.  For someone who is judged so much he is the most non-judgemental person I think I have met. If he only knew what a gift that alone is!

I see LOVE. I listen to how badly he wants a family and to have that family life so many of us take granted. I see him watch videos of Sophina and will see a smile or maybe a tear. As of last night, I can add SINCERE, TRUTHFUL and HONEST to the list.

Last night, I listened to Patrick talk about who he stole from and the people he hurt.  He expressed much regret and sadness for stealing from Grandma Theresa (in a church) and said that was the one he regrets the most. I was surprised to learn a few things about members of his family that are quick to belittle him but quick to use him as the fall guy for their misdoings. He quit protecting those who have used him as a scapegoat to say that he stole when in fact he did not or the people that are the first to belittle him but the first to call him for pills. For example, when he was pouring his heart and soul out admitting is wrong doings, calls kept coming in from a cousin of his

asking if he could get her some pills. This cousin is one of the many cousins, uncles, and all the other individuals that think they are better and will tell others to stay away from him because he is bad news.

I have gotten to know the demon that shares his name and Patrick when the demon hides inside. I will cherish every moment getting to know Patrick.

If he could see what I see- he would be able to love himself and know that he is way more special then the people that hide in secret of all their misdoings and pretends to be something they are not.